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What is a Femfeeling?

Read what professionals are saying about FEMFEELING:

----"Not only is the FEMFEELING concept an asset to
individuals, but for we professionals who work clinically with women and couples, this is an invaluable tool for providing a realistic approach to women's sexuality."  - Dr. Batya Ludman

----"I am confident that whoever utilizes this Guide - and the FEMFEELING concept in general - will add life to their feelings and feelings to their life."  - Rabbi Stewart Weiss

----"The FEMFEELING Female Sexual Anatomy Guide presents the female form and its God-given gifts in an entirely new and positive way."  - Hillel Faktor, MD

----"In Jewish
tradition it is the woman who has a right to sexual satisfaction....and in the many rabbinic sources there is...an emphasis on the need for FEMFEELING, the satisfaction of healthy sexual joy for women."  - Dean Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo, PhD

The FEMFEELING Guide. A Woman's Guide to Romance and Sexual Pleasure by Max Grunberg (Copyright by Max Grunberg, Ra'anana, Israel 2005)

If you have ordered the FEMFEELING Guide, you will receive four small, pink-colored booklets, tied together with a pink colored cover. The first volume is a guide for a fulfilling sex life. This volume contains lexical entries covering issues connected with love, sexuality, well-being and pleasure - from body-language to foreplay and from lingerie to plastic surgery. Thus prepared, you can take the next step to the second volume, in which you will learn about the female anatomy of the sexual organs. This volume outlines the pleasure points of the female body using graphical and textual descriptions. The two remaining booklets are: the FEMFEELING diary and the FEMFEELING planner. Max Grunberg is a FEMFEELING educator who has been guiding couples for more than 20 years regarding ways they can make their relationship more fulfilling. Although the manual indicates that it is intended for all women, regardless of their faith, the book contains the foreword of a rabbi. This indicates that Judaism recognizes the right of women to sexual fulfillment and that the way to reach this goal is through the "knowledge" of one's body - just like the word in Hebrew "to know" is used in the bible to describe intimacy.

Source: Familienmentsch 04/2008 (translated and adapted from German to English)

---- The New Dr. Ruth: Max Grunberg's Campaign to Promote Sexuality in the Religious Community

Shalom Life speaks to author/sex therapist Max Grunberg on his 'radical' views on Jewish orthodox sexuality

By: Zak Edwards
Published: December 24th, 2013 in News » World

Sex therapist Max Grunberg
has been making headlinesin Israel lately for his ‘radical’ views on Jewish Orthodox sexuality. The Dutch-Israeli therapist and author wrote a book on sexuality called FEMFEELING that, despite being based on his own readings of the Torah and Rabbinical literature from his Orthodox perspective, had trouble finding a religious publisher.

Now published independently, Grunberg is dedicated to helping Orthodox Jews in their sex lives, helping women in their sexual exploration to make marriages more fulfilling and, Grunberg argues, to help make stronger homes.

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Shalom Life had the opportunity to sit down with Grunberg to talk about Jewish sexuality, why his views on female masturbation aren't as revolutionary as people think, and how his book is important in helping people realize their sexual potential.

Shalom Life (SL): Let’s start with a fundamental question: why is sexual pleasure important in a person’s life? In a couple's life?

Max Grunberg (MG): We all know that it [sex] creates happiness, joy, and emotional and physical fulfilment. From a Jewish perspective, sexual happiness in marriage is the base on which bonding in the bedroom and harmony in the home is built.

SL: Why do you think Jewish sexuality is viewed as so conservative? Some say there is a puritanical influence from Christianity, do you agree?

MG: I do agree that in some Jewish people's minds there is a puritanical influence from Christianity. The Torah and the Rabbinical literature see sexuality as a very joyful, positive experience when it takes place between husband and wife. Jewish Law has many positive ideas that enhance marital relations and, in general, pleasuring a woman.

For example, during the time of impurity of the women, any physical touching by the husband is forbidden. Therefore, the husband has the time once a month to focus only on getting closer to his wife, by emotionally bonding with her. This all will lead to a closer emotional and physical bonding during the time that sexual relations are permitted.

Judaism promotes foreplay, such as hugging, kissing, saying endearing words, and
afterplay, and a husband is not allowed to hurt his wife emotionally or physically. When it comes to sexual fulfilment during sexual relations, a husband must ensure that his wife experiences sexual fulfilment first. Indeed, Jewish women have the right to sexual fulfilment from a halachic perspective.

SL: Your views on masturbation are considered by some to be fairly radical, especially with female masturbation, but you say it’s important. Why is masturbation for women important?

MG: What I said was as follows: 'In Jewish tradition, female masturbation is allowed when it’s for exploring oneself and one’s sexual feelings.' I noted that 'it is valuable for gaining knowledge about the different parts of your anatomy through touch, which is needed to be a sexually knowledgeable woman in order to communicate without fear your sexual needs to your partner.'

Orthodox women marry later in life these days. This raises the risk of them having premarital sex, which according to Torah Law, is forbidden. Therefore, female exploration and masturbation
helps keep unmarried Orthodox women from having sex with a partner.

Some women are unable to have sex due to illness, physical or emotional problems. Thus, female masturbation presents a viable alternative. There are also cases in which men are unable to have sexual relations with their wives; again female masturbation is an option. A woman in these circumstances should try to masturbate in the presence of her husband, in order to maintain the strong marital bond.

SL: Your perspective has been hailed as part of a recent trend of being more open about sexuality within the Jewish community, do you think that’s true?

MG: We can learn from the Rabbinical literature that intimacy and sexuality have been discussed widely and in detail by many commentaries for centuries. When husband and wife are sexually intimate, it is actually considered as though the Divine Presence is there as well, making it one of the holiest acts a couple can achieve.

SL: Why do you think this change is happening now?

MG: For my research, I interviewed women about their need for feelings of sexual pleasure. In general, women responded positively to the idea of paying attention to their physical needs in terms of sexual pleasure. More importantly, however, they expressed a need for more attention to be paid to their emotional needs of sexual pleasure. From this, and from what we learn from Rabbinical literature, the FEMFEELING method arose. I developed the FEMFEELING method over the last 10 years; so that's why I believe it is happening now.

address sexuality, specifically, Jewish sexuality?

MG: Many men believe
that, when it comes to "gladdening their wives", reaching an orgasm should be the only focus for their wives and themselves. Women may have different viewpoints, as they are usually aware of their individual needs to experience inner feelings of sexual joy in their own unique way. From a Jewish perspective, a husband is obliged to fulfill his wife's sexual needs. In the Rabbinic literature, we do not find the idea of females reaching an orgasm as defined in the 4 stages of arousal by Masters and Johnson. In Judaism each woman experiences female feelings of sexual joy according to her own needs, and this what FEMFEELING is all about. FEMFEELING represents a Jewish way of thinking, although before the development of the FEMFEELING method, there was not an English word for expressing the Jewish way of experiencing female feelings of sexual joy.

SL: So what does a usual consultation entail?

MG: A consultation is only done by phone and the client decides which topics will be discussed. According to the topics raised by the client, I answer their questions. I usually give clients some "homework" in between sessions in order to help them put into practice what they have learned during a session.

SL: What kinds of problems do you find couples facing in your sessions?

MG: Women having difficulties achieving an orgasm or achieving sexual fulfilment, women having difficulties in making sexual choices and saying "no" to any unwanted touching, and women having difficulties with sex as a result of illness, physical and emotional limitations. Sexual anxiety is also a topic of discussion.

To learn more about the FEMFEELING method,
visit Grunberg's website here.

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